A Couple of Things

First off - I've been grumpy lately. Probably more frustrated, but its made me grumpy. My apologies to anyone who has had to deal with me in the past week! It's getting better! We're working on an attitude adjustment!

With that said - I'm going church shopping! That kind of sounds funny being a Pastor and all, but I am. I'm going church shopping. I want to see what's going on in other places and in other denominations around the area. There are some churches here that are really thriving and i think it's time to see what the kool aid is that people are thirsting for. Updates to follow!

Im also going to visit a church that the people who work at Subway go to. The one guy is a youth pastor there. His brother attends but questions a lot of the God Stuff. He calls me "The Subway Pastor" because  I go in for a sandwich and 45 minutes and a pastoral care conversation or some theological banter later I leave! They want me to come to worship with them - the service is in spanish. I dont speak spanish. But I will go and it will be a good thing.

My parents were here for Mothers day. That made me happy! My dad waxed my car...he's the bomb diggity! I hate waxing the car - he's a car nut. Were a good match! Mom and I went to target! We're a good match too!

I'm tired, but haven't felt like sleeping recently. Strange right? But I feel like I'm on the brink of something and im just waiting for it to perk...

I had lunch with two cool people on Monday. We talked about the killing of Bin Laden and lots of other stuff. They make me laugh, hard! I like laughing!

Um, i think that's all. More soon!

Dream good dreams world!

"And I'm Dreaming In Your Living Room"

"It's because I can spell Konfusion with a K and I can like it!...And if this is what it takes to live with my mistakes...its not hard to dream...Did you know i miss you (x7)?

Something Corporate, Konstantine.

Song on repeat...I'm not even sure why but for 9 years I've been addicted to this song.

Like The First Time All Over Again!

every now and then there are times where I feel like it's the first time....some sundays feel like the first time i've ever preached and others the first time i've written a retreat. tonight it felt like i was walking in to do my first funeral. the funeral directors all look the same, they seemed to know me well. the people gathered appeared to be happy i walked in the door but good lord it was as if i had NEVER done a funeral before. once we got the ball rolling I was in my groove, but it was an odd experience. and it wasnt even a funeral - it was a prayer service - mini funeral at the funeral home. graveside tomorrow... ps. i love these people more than i ever imagined possible.

im not feeling capital letters tonight! (in case you haven't noticed!)

last night was like a dream. one minute it was 5:30pm and the next it was 12:30am. i had a long convo with an old friend who seems to be more and more a part of my life. im so happy for this. it's funny to have her on my brain again. thinking, oh i can't wait to tell her this or that. and the best part is, it's as though we didnt even miss a beat. you know who you are and i'm glad we're back in the saddle. duck! or goose! i can't remember who is who. and in case you're reading this - remember my door in my bedroom that we wrote on with magic markers? yeah...that's still there and my dad has "preserved it" he wasn't happy when it started, the quote wall on the back of the door, but now he seems to appreciate it more than me!

tomorrow is thursday, my favorite day of the week. it's date night with one of my best pals and greys! and it's my friday. it'll be a good day.

speaking of firsts - the elementary school, where i do chapel, has duck eggs and they started hatching. first time i'd seen a duck hatch and i was fascinated. i couldnt look away and didnt want to leave. it's little bill sticking out of the egg and then it's body and it's first steps with it's webbed feet...he got the hang of it pretty quick. he's real cute! another started hatching, but i had to "go to work" back at the church. can't wait to go tomrorow to see the little ducks! the kids are in awe and i love it. they watch intently and tell you the play by play as though you're not watching it too...

i think that's all tonight.

OH! I just made that bizzaro connection - duck/goose friend reconnection and watching the duck hatch. wow. ok. im slow!


quack quack!
xo

Executive Decision

Today has been...perfect. I went into the office early to get a couple of things done. Made a to do list - because i LOVE lists and haven't had one in over a month - and realized everything I needed to do could be done at home - at anytime. I looked outside to see a perfect blue sky - sun - and the trees blowing and thought self - you are taking the day OFF!! (Mind you, I've really needed a day off with nothing scheduled.  I feel like I've been going non stop since Palm Sunday. Which really isn't the case because there have been pockets of time, but that doesnt really count.) So i told the secretary that I was available by cell phone and out the door I went. I put the top down and called up my best pal in NY and said let's do something fun today! : ) And that we did! We hung out for awhile and went to lunch (had an oreo milkshake) and went to my most favorite place to buy fruit and veggies and fish. Blue Collar Comedy was on the radio - the top was down and I wasn't driving...perfection. I'm a happy camper and it's a Tuesday!

I'm not sure how it's 5:15 already but that's ok. 

I'm off to be domestic. Laundry, cleaning the house...the parents are coming this weekend for Mother's Day..gotta get this place in order.

Peace, Love, and Chicken Grease! 

OO La La

Sunday Night and it's date night with my pillows, the phillies game and my cell phone. It's quite enjoyable. Dinner consisted of toast, yogurt with granola, pineapple, and a handful of doritos. Yeah - I'm a loser! In all reality - I was too lazy to boil water - sue me.


I'm super tired tonight for some reason. Not sleepy tired - just dead to the world tired. I was planning on sleeping this afternoon, but ended up screwing around online and working on my bills and budgeting! Oh the joy - it's hard to contain the excitement! Student loans are down 20k since i started paying them - that made me happy. The rest of the debt is well, nauseating. Mint.com is a GREAT website for budgeting etc. Mr. Man found it and loves it - it's not perfect but it's uber helpful.


Went to the gym on Friday and was planning on going today, but here's the deal - only one form of torture per day - bills or the gym. Clearly gym lost! I kinda hate to sweat...guess we'll go tomorrow. Oh and I dont even really hate to sweat - but i hate sweating in public. You look gross, hair is a disaster, you smell, clothes stick to every possible place - not my idea of lookin' good in public. : )


Sadie just hopped up on the bed - i love when she knows it's bed time. How are dogs so smart? I mean, really. Observant little boogers they are!


Back to the phillies! 
Night yo.

Semonizing 101

It's Saturday - 9:15pm - and I'm still working on the sermon. I never work on a sermon on Saturday night...but that's ok. Kinda feeling surprisingly ok with it. My attention span is lacking this week (is that different from any other week?) as evidenced by this mid sermon blog post! : )

Anyway - I love the ending! (Sometimes I write the end first!) 

For Christ is Risen! He is risen indeed! He is out of the tomb and is out and about in our lives and the world around us and because of this - nothing will ever be the same again. Thanks be to God. Amen.

It needs some tweaking - but you get the point!

EDIT - that sounded a whole lot better when i said it this morning than when i read it on here just now : ) Thought you should know! Sermon preached well...

Crumpets?

Confession time! I've not been a big fan of all this Royal Wedding hoopla. It's been the topic of conversation on most news and daytime television shows. There's more "Will and Kate" shtuff for sale than one could even begin to conjure up. And really, who cares how much jewelry Kate has worn or will wear 10 years from now. BUT...I must say that I'm contemplating waking up in the middle of the night to watch the show take place! I'm off and I have a sermon to write, but I might get up in 3 hours and 45 minutes just to see what's goin' on. Now, if only I had some crumpets! I will opt for coffee rather than tea - I hope the Queen approves!

It's been awhile since I've posted. I got side tracked with Easter! And let me tell you, I needed me some Easter! As fast as Lent went this year, it was long. I needed some "Jesus Christ is Risen Today" and some fanfare along with the Alleluias! The Easter Vigil was AMAZING - almost as good as seminary - not quite  - but close! The Exultet was phenominal and I'm still watching this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIhBdt5XRcA&feature=share  just to hear it over and over again. I'm in love. We had a baptism at the vigil which was enjoyable! : ) AND during communion mr. music man played and sang this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kmg4n7XHPtw - he's quite talented and it made me cry. Aight, thats enough worship reporting! Let's just say it was good!

I wasn't really feeling the drive home after worship and 2.5 hours of sleep, but I'm really glad I went! I got to see my parents and Aunt and Uncle and my cousins. We played games, had good food and didn't argue. Which is remarkable! I tend to argue with my Uncle for one reason or another, but I think we both made a conscious effort to not! Maybe we're all growing up!

Oh! Good news! My Marine Cousin is coming home from Afghanistan in two weeks. I'm excited to see him - I'm excited for him to be back in the States. I'm thankful he won't be in the middle of the war. I'm really proud of him even though I don't completely understand why he wanted to be a Marine. At the end of the day though - if that's what he wants to do - he's got my love and support. He's come a long way...has had a hard time and I think he feels like he belongs there...so I'm 100% behind him! No more questions asked - I tried to talk him out of it - it didn't work. I won't be doing that anymore.

Love my cousins to pieces - they are like my brothers.

There's more, but that's all for now! If I'm getting up for my non crumpet Royal Wedding Viewing I better go to sleep!

Love and Peace.

Its Friday

This whole week I've had to actually stop and think about what day it is. Seems a bit strange as every day is markedly different. The seder - The City/Chrism Mass - Stations of the Cross - Maundy Thursday and Foot Washing - Good Friday...one moment it feels as though its flying by and the next it feels like we'll never get to Sunday...


I've been sitting in worship every day thinking - "oh - i'm going to blog about this or that." And by the time I get home, the thought is gone or I'm done thinking for the day. Oh well, it happens!


Today we were in worship - doing the Words from the cross...it's solemn and somber - there is the hint of incense - the altar is bare - and there is a grandmother and 7 grandkids sitting behind me. She has brought them every day to worship. My guess is they are out of school and staying with their gram during the day because they come to worship and then go on a little field trip. One day it was the movies another it was bowling. I didnt hear where they were going today. First - I LOVE that she brings them to worship. Kids learn so much simply by "showing up" and watching what is going on. But even more - I loved during what almost seems like a funeral mass there are kids playing tic tac toe and giggling. They weren't being disrespectful at all - they were being kids who were sitting in church during what can seem endless! At the end of the service the chimes ring 33 times and they were trying to figure out what was going on - one said it must be 12:00. Another said no we got here at 12:00 it must be an alarm clock. hah. it was cute. then the older brother leaned over and said no its ringing 33 times - Jesus was 33 years old when he died. oooh they said - that's why people were crying - jesus died on the cross. Interesting to me that the pieces all came together all over again for them in a new way. 


Aight - im out for now. Maybe more later. Worship tonight should be good - looking forward to the bidding prayer and solemn reproaches. 


Oh - one more thing. I went to Fairway today for the first time and I am in LOVE! That store is my new favorite place - the produce is amazing...all lined up - neat and orderly tall stacks of every possible fruit and vegetable you can think of - kinda wanna take pictures in there! If you've got a Fairway near you - go...stat! You won't be disappointed!

Quiet of The Night

I had forgotten just how much I enjoy the late night hours until a few weeks ago - it proves to be a bitch in the morning but it seems to be worth it. I thought a couple of weeks ago it was because i was feeling overly anxious and rather depressed that I liked the darkness and stillness of the night but I think it's more than that. The pace of the world changes and so does my mind. I seem to be able to settle into the stillness around me - dull lights or just the glow from the quiet tv - the ticking of the clock that doesn't tell the correct time but marks the seconds passing none the less. The puppy sits quietly by me as though she knows its time to be at peace - she's not looking to play tug of war or dropping the squeaky yellow ball at my feet - she just wants to be close and breathes a little smoother as well.

I like knowing that the world is sleeping or at least quieting down and the house feels safe and warm and secure. I spend most of my waking hours talking to someone - either in person, online, or on the phone. I jump from one conversation into another without more than minutes passing. And I like it that way. But then comes the night and I'm for once, still. And I like it!

Today was the seder and it was damn good! It was fun to be in the kitchen - chopping onions and feeling like my eyes were going to fall out of my head - allowing one of the older women teach me different things in the kitchen - some of which i knew - most of which i dont care about - but she liked telling me how to do things and with each instruction came a story about something in her life or who taught her how to do this that or the other thing. I like her and she reminds me of my grandma. Shes absolutely nothing like my grandma - but ever since my grandparents died I feel some strange connection to older people who take an interest in me. I treat them like my grandparents - respect - give them my attention - but also I give them hugs and well, i don't know....show affection in that grandparent sort of way and it works for all of us i think. There's one woman who, a couple of weeks ago, out of the blue i gave a hug to - and she said "i can't tell you the last time i had a hug" we smiled and well, now we hug on sunday morning and have a brief convo while she puts the sharpened pencils in the pews and straightens out the hymnals. She's quiet and easily ignored - im pretty sure she was not part of my weekly interaction for the past 2.5 years but from now on - you better believe i will seek her out. She's cute and quiet and well, she reminds me of my grandma!

I miss my grandparents more than I ever thought I would. I miss them a lot. My grandfather was pissed at me when i got my tongue pierced but he got over it when my mom had a little conversation with him. They both were very far from perfect but to me...complete perfection. My grandpa died suddenly - one minute ok and the next dead on the ground. I'm glad for him that it happened that way but man oh man i wish i had another conversation, another visit, another phone call. He smoked a pipe and i now have all of his pipes and they still smell just how i remember. My gram - well - she had her flaws but love flowed out of that woman in a way you don't see every day.

Alright - enough of that...i'm rambling, but this is my blog! deal with it : )

Well, my eyeballs are tired so im turning the computer off...see what i can find on tv and embrace the quiet of the night!

Peace Out Ya'll!

Stream of Consciousness

Well, today proved to be an excellent day! For starters I got out of the house early, which is a real rarity these days, and had plenty of time for a Dunkin' Coffee Stop! Got the blood flowing at a nice pace before I had to say hello to anyone! (not sure if this was more of a benefit for me or for everyone around me!) Palm Sunday proved to be all that I anticipated! The kids did a bang up job of processing - the choirs sounded great - the weather cooperated - and everyone was in a good mood! We laughed throughout the service and I in my 11 year old boy style used my palm as a sword and flicked the acolytes when they were trying to look oh so holy and reverent! Really - im a bad influence! I remembered Mrs. Kianka and her anthems and my mind filled with movie reals of memories. 


The pooch and I took a walk today through the village - another Dunkin' Coffee stop and we were off! Sadie got to smell all kinds of good stuff and she pranced around like she owned the streets! (Hopefully that made up for dinner being 4 hours late because I lost track of time and forgot to feed her tonight! - if it helps any, i forgot to feed myself too! oops!)


Joel Osteen is on tv right now. Not sure how that happened, but sometimes i like listening to someone else ramble on - i dont even really care how theologically correct or incorrect it is. (as long as it's not the 700 Club which just makes my blood pressure shoot through the roof!) His accent reminds me of South Carolina...i miss it there. I miss the magnolia tree in the neighbor's yard - the azalea bushes in front of my house - the Stavros lights that would shine through the blinds at night - the accents of everyone around me - Ocharlies - Harbison - Pomaria - the crazy guy at El Cheapo Gas Station - Publix - the sound of the train all night - being happy to wake up at 6:30 to talk to someone who has turned out to be one of my best friends - Thursday night Chapel followed by dinner out somewhere - Inferno Hockey games....so much. Most of all tho..i miss my friends. A lot. 


I wonder if I'll ever be that happy again. It was a crazy time, full of crazy fears and uncertainties about what the future held, over exaggerated worries, a roller coaster of emotions full of many firsts -  but it was DAMN good...


Shouted Hosanna today... we're on our way to shouting Crucify.
Good Night world.

Holy, Holy, Holy

Well, tomorrow (Palm Sunday) officially kicks off Holy Week, but for me it begins on the Saturday evening before Palm Sunday. I go with the confirmation kids to see the Passion Play at a local monster church where they do a bang up job. It occurs to me that I almost like watching the kids experience the play and take it all in more than the actual show itself. There is something about watching the stories they know and have heard come alive.  Their eyes get big and for once they aren't looking at their phone and are paying attention like they are watching the most captivating thing they have ever seen! Do I really feel like going tonight? No, not particularly. But I will go and I will love it once I get there!


This morning was the annual Easter Egg Hunt. Oh the joy - the crafts - the Easter Bunny - the Eggs - the candy and the damn smell of bacon that was making my mouth water from the mens breakfast! It was good - not as many people were there as I would have like to see, but those who came had fun and we made the best of it!


The church bees as I call them (aka alter guild) were working hard this morning decorating and getting the sanctuary ready for Palm Sunday. I love all of the behind the scenes prep that takes place. Everyone is cleaning and working and preparing. It's clear that something special is about to happen. 


Tomorrow will be a good day - the Passion Story will be read - I'll narrate as usual and wonder how to pronounce Ciaphas. I'll agonize over it all morning (I'll probably even call RM at 8:30a to ask her how she would say it) until right before I have to say his name and then...it will be over! The kids will process in, singing All Glory Laud and Honor and I will remember Mrs. Kianka and being in junior choir, memorizing all of the verses and all that she taught me through anthems.  (Most of the bible stories that I know the best and bring some kind of comfort are those I learned in elementary school in junior choir.)


I've gotta go be domestic and do some laundry and take care of the dishes! Happy Saturday!


Holy Holy Holy! Lord God Almighty!
Early in the morning our song shall rise to thee.
Holy Holy Holy merciful and mighty
God in three persons, blessed Trinity.

Reminders

Today was a decent day. The Friday before Holy Week and I was off. Absolute bliss baby! I was going to write more tonight, but I'm not feeling it. My mind is crowded and I'm tired!  A couple of pictures of 2 of my favorite things - my pooch and flowers in the spring. My pooch is a very tangible reminder of God's presence and love in my life (more on that later!). Flowers...well, they remind me of dieing and rising and new life that is to come.

'

Looking Through The Lens

A little background: In August 2010 I bought a refurbished Nikon D3000 from B&H Photography.


(ps: you need to go there - the conveyer belts that go all around the store like it's own toy roller coaster - the amount of camera shtuff- Chris Rock who was buying a camera next to us - the guy with an old camera who chills outside the store - it's a fun place to dream a lil!)


Lenses
18-55mm f/3.5-5.6
90mm Macro
70-300mm f/4-5.6
Lensbaby Muse


And really - I know nothing about photography and that's ok with me. I'm learning and it's fun. Changes the way I look at the world around me and it forces me to look and think outside of myself. I'd say I tend to be an observant person but the lens changes the way in which I observe - it's interesting. More words will come later...

Sunday, Sunday

I'm not exactly a fan of waking up on Sunday morning, but once the day gets rolling it's not too shabby! : ) A lil church action, seeing people who haven't been around for a week - or sometimes more - hearing stories of the week, sharing hugs, smiles, jokes, in general its simply goodness. I'm not what you would call a  "community person," but when I'm in the middle of it I can't get enough of it. I wonder why it takes so much to jump into it - over and over again it proves to be a good thing, yet I resist it at every turn.

The Journey

So, today, I began shooting in Manual. Makes me a little nervous, but it's time to jump in the deep end! Pretty much, that's all there is to it! Shutter Speed, ISO, Aperture here we go baby and I'm excited.


I've been stuck in my head a lot recently - thinking and over thinking tends to be my M.O., but it's been a bit out of control! So, we're reigning it in and working on perspective and patience!


I've thought about photography for quite some time - always looked at cameras, always was wanting to play with lenses, but always felt a bit out of my league and wasn't sure I could rock it. Then came along my pal who just happens to be a professional photographer and quite possibly one of the funniest people I know... and he's patient with me (or at least has a good cover!) So to B&H we went in August 2010, a couple of lenses in, and we're off and running!


And so, here we go!